Honestly these blog posts are not easy to write. It's kinda painful to read back through and type out my life. I have struggled so much with legalism. Being under the weight of it. Not being free to feel God's love.
I don't know if any of you have been in legalism, but for someone like me, I'm a sensitive "right brained" individual, I am detailed and conscientious. I take things seriously and literally. So being in a legalistic environment, being "brain washed" to the core of my being in this has actually really hurt me. My biggest weakness is fear but it's absolutely tied in with legalism.
I am walking out of this mindset, this sub culture. I am dealing with it and seeking help. I have honestly been a christian that is not too happy with her Christianity because it hasn't brought me a lot of joy. I have had moments of when I love God and I feel it. When there is joy and hope.... but I have honestly been "rooted" in fear more than in love, like the Bible says we should be.
With God's help and the help of others I am learning that I am in a "box" and that I want to be out of it... sometimes I am out of it. That box is called legalism.
Christianity is simply this. Jesus died for my sins so that I can walk in His love and be with him in heaven someday and see him face to face. Be careful if anyone or even yourself adds more to that. It is NOT about us working our freakin' way to Him but that we are His because of what HE did.