I know I'm tired, but I feel confused, or should I say worried about what I should do in my future. How am I to approach You? How am I to act? What is the right way? Do I always have to listen to those in "authority" to live my life? Do I have to go by "man's rules," from church leaders, bible school leaders for my life?
I want freedom in certain aspects, Ya know, earrings...but I might, I bet I would feel guilty getting them. I want Your views and you know waht I mean when I say, no one else's. I'm afraid their views are Your views. Help me to discern what You want for me in my life, about music, clothes, lifestyle... please give me peace about the way You want me to go. Peace- knowing "it's My will for you to go this way." I don't want condemnation. I feel like I go by what people say with the "highest" most "conservative standards, when maybe it's okay for me to be more "free."
Please help me Jesus. You seem so obscure... I want You in my life and relevant to what I'm going through; I want You real in my life. As tangible as You can get to a human without seeing You. I think I'd, well right now I feel I'd be very frightened to see you. For me to give you to other people I need to know and heart love you more. You know for me to fulfill my ministry with satisfaction. Well in that matter, coming from that to be satisfied/should I say more satisfied.
I "know" so much but I want a heart knowing and accepting and loving. A spirit, heart understanding and loving and knowing. I don't want to accept things because I hear them so much, I want to accept things because You let me know, that THIS is what you have for me. I kinda feel that I barely know you, but then I feel I know You at least some. I want to know You more as a personal friend than as an idea or an "official" person, an authority figure. I do love You Jesus. I want to know You more.
In Your name Jesus